JackburtonSays

intergalactic-dorks:

intergalactic-dorks:

Its nice that we get to die someday. Imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the emberassing things you did in the last 2000 years. Horrible

Me, as a vampire: oh geez

Friend: What’s wrong

Me: Just remembered that time in 1654 when the tavern maid said “Enjoyeth thy meal!” I replied with “Thee as well”

yahenni:

yeeeem:

roachpatrol:

pluspluspangolin:

sigmaleph:

responsible-reanimation:

thesleepiestboy:

dadcore420:

redfurniture:

spacebattles:

I wish more foods were named in the same vein as “I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter!”

You’ve Got To Be Pulling My Leg, THIS Is Ranch?!

Shut The Fuck Up, Are You Telling Me This Shit Is Ketchup??

I Firmly Believe This Is Not Mustard And I Am Horribly Wrong

I Refused To Believe That This Condiment Was Barbecue Sauce, And I Have Been Summarily Flayed For My Apostasy

I Assigned Negligible Probability To This Being Chili Sauce And Have Since Updated

In Which Your Humble Narrator Assumed That The Substance Within This Container Was Not Worchestershire Sauce Only To Be Rudely Awakened From This Delusion By Mysterious Circumstances

So I Figured This Was Jam But Boy Howdy Was I Jumping To Some Erroneous Goddamn Conclusions

this not soup

Breadn’t

alicenmaryjane2016:

femalerappers:

thetorontokid:

robin-scherbatsky:

shout-out to that tumblr user that you can’t believe follows you