Okay I know it exists and I’ve probably read it, but where’s the gangster!Seb or gangster!Bucky AU fic that has to go with this gifset? I’m gonna need that STAT.
That last one, though, bahahaha!!! Somebody give me some context here; who is he?
It’s Sebastian Stan, a Romanian-American film and television actor, best known for his role as Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
He ruins lives like the ‘Noid ruins pizzas. It’s all part of the deal he made with the aliens that allows him to continue to get just a little bit hotter each and every day.
His hobbies include destroying panties and working out.
This will NEVER not make me laugh. How can this be the same guy??!!
Is it aliens or is he making sacrifices to the goddess Aphrodite?
Look, we just wanna [REDACTED] Sebastian Stan all day long. And thrice on Sundays.
In this episode, we talk about Sebastian Stan, the man with a big lust footprint, which is to say that he leaves a mark on you, and you may accidentally catch some detritus in the magnetic sweep of his all-consuming sex appeal… Gather round, thirst-buckets, and let us take you on a journey that will traverse the source of Seb’s undeniable desirability.
Between fits of lustful giggling, we came up with some theories.
Is it his pretty hot douchebag face that he can mold into either something blank and Ken-like or tearful high emotion?
Is it the way he gets all up in your space, TalkingRealClose, right up till the point of actual contact?
Is it his hair, which works at both athlete-short or Bucky-long lengths?
Or is it that sinful bottom lip (see the gif above), aka the one that makes us look up the recipe for traditional Romanian sarmale?
Looking for the answer to what dat mouf do? we found an answer of sorts, via a compilation fanvid. See if you can pick a fave liplock (there are so many!):
Now let’s go back to another excellent weapon in his arsenal — that pretty, wilfully blank douchebag face he has the audacity to carry around all nonchalantly. Here it is, put to perfect use in Logan Lucky:
We also discussed Sebastian’s fairly slim CV to date, but how he really seems to be growing as an artist — from turns in TV shows like Gossip Girl, Kings, Political Animals and Once Upon A Time to gritty and (even more) interesting character studies in movies like I, Tonya via The Bronze and the Marvel movies (where he gives performances that runs the gamut, emotions-wise). But also, look at this murder-strut from Captain America: The Winter Soldier, combined with that waterfall of freshly pressed hair.
HE KNOWS HE’S FABULOUS. (and like Nichole says in the ep, he really does “throw” his thighs out when he walks! 😋)
We also covered Sebastian’s role choices i.e. going for indie work that might pull him away from traditional roles set aside for men who look like him, and how he seems to be this funny guy who is happy to tell jokes and do his work and just be hot in peace. We can fuck with that, Seb.
Listen: it was a very thirsty episode, OK? Gird your loins and secure your wig with extra bobby pins cos Fanfic Wars was A Lot this week. Nichole did a full torso blush, and it was everything!
You can listen to the whole episode RIGHT HERE (more links to listen are down below).
SOME STUFF TO WATCH AND READ, IF YOU LIKE!
This moment on WWHL when Sebastian seems as confounded as the rest of us at the Tom H/T.Swift… happening (starts around 3:08)
There’s an all-too-brief glimpse of that ‘dick-medal tattoo’ from The Bronze in this fanvid (17 seconds in 👀)
This inexplicable red carpet interview between him and co-star Anthony Mackie, where he talks about how important it is to keep thighs fit and strong (!). Starts round the 30-second mark. 👀
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Remain hydrated, friends, but stay thirsty.
A solid podcast that speaks the truth on how thirsty we are for Sebastian. But I can’t remember; did they talk about my favorite shitty movie he was in, The Covenant?
Come on son; so terrible and yet…still would smash like an Idaho potato.
JackburtonSays 