Mini-fic…”Freakum Dress”

I should be working but I can’t stop going through my old writings and changing them a bit. This is a mini one I wrote when I was forehead deep into Professor Dorkface. Since that has cooled, I tweaked it a bit to make the guy more ambiguous. He can be whoever you want him to be (and I know who I’m picturing but we ain’t talking about me 😏). This is based on a song by one of our urban poets, Beyonce. Enjoy…

“Come on, you haven’t kicked it with us in forever since you hooked up with Mr. Big Sexy.” Tasha said as I rolled my eyes. I’m sitting in my living room, trying to finish an edit for a column in next Tuesday’s newspaper. Thank goodness I can work from home some days as a literary editor.

“Tash, I can’t. I got to finish this edit and Mr. Big Sexy just got back from the film set so I was going to try and spend some time with him.”

“Alright, alright; I see how it is. And yes, I’m completely hating right now. I’m still waiting on you to hook me up since he knows so many celebrities. You know I’m trying to be Mrs. Boseman”

“Get off my phone heffa. I’ll talk to you later. Have fun.”

After we got off the phone, I walked out of my living room and into my bedroom, where I thought I would find my unconscious boyfriend sleeping but no. I found him dressed in a suit.

“Hey, where you going?”

He turned while fixing his tie. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I thought I told you; I have a dinner meeting about a script.”

I could feel myself starting to get mad, but I squashed the feeling. “No, if you did I might have made some plans. Tasha said hello by the way.”

“Is she still wanting me to hook her up with Chadwick?”

“Of course she is.” I walked toward him and slapped his hands away from his tie. I tied it for him and looked at him. So fucking handsome and now that his beard has grown in, it’s even worse. Thinking about it made me smile, which made him smile.

“What?”

I straightened up, “Nothing. How long do you have til you leave?” asking as I pulled him closer by his tie.

“Why, did you have something in mind?” He said as he slipped his arms around me, hands palming my ass. I leaned in to kiss him when my buzzer sounded.

“Shit, it’s probably my driver.”

I sighed and he let me go. “I’m sorry baby but I swear I’ll make it up to you.”

“Damn straight you will. Go and wow some director so I can have my way with you later.”

He kissed me, grabbed his wallet and phone and headed out.

I looked at the time, 8:30. Then I grabbed my cell phone.

“Hey Tash, you still headed out tonight? Let’s do this.”

I think I’m ready

Been locked up in the house way too long…

I’m sitting in a booth at one of Chicago’s famous clubs while my girls Tasha, Didi and Soriya are out on the dance floor. I wanted to sip a little before I got up and started dancing. Before I could get comfortable, Tasha came to the table.

“Get your ass up here and dance! Show off this sexy assed dress!” She yanked me up and we headed out to the dance floor.

And my girls are so real

Said it’s been a minute since I had some…

We were dancing for what seemed like forever when something made me start looking around. I glanced up at the VIP section and I saw folks sitting, drinking and talking. One of those folks happened to be my boyfriend.

Talking to some blonde broad. Who had her hands all over him.

Say word? Okay then.

He’s been acting up

But he won’t be the only one..

Didi saw what I was looking at that made me stop dancing. “Oh shit, is that your boo thang?”

“It is. I’d recognize his ass anywhere.”

“Don’t do anything crazy; we’re black in downtown Chicago. You know they’ll lock us up first.”

That made me laugh but I kept watching. I was staring him down so hard he glanced at the dancefloor. He saw me. I turned and continued dancing while I know he watched.

Soon as he saw me turned on by how the dress was fittin right

Short and backless, seen my silhouette in the moonlight…

I was caught up in dancing that I didn’t notice someone slipped their arm around me and pulled me to them. It was a guy, I could tell but not the guy I wanted to be all over me.

He was still watching. I can imagine the look on his face; nostrils flaring, eyes twitching while flexing those beautiful slender hands of his. I felt the person behind me lean closer to whisper to me.

“Damn girl, you lookin right in this dress. How about we get out of here and see if I can get you out of it.”

Such an attraction, kept telling me how my outfits so nice

Little did he know, my man’s gonna take it off tonight…

Hell no he didn’t. I tried to get out his grasp but he was holding too tight. Before I could recreate the “SING” scene from Miss Congeniality, I felt a hand on my arm.

“You’re gonna want to let her go; she’s here with me.”

I turned toward my hero, trying to get closer but dude wasn’t having it.

“Come on bruh, she ain’t here with you. You ain’t even got a chance with this.”

“Motherfucker, if anyone ain’t got a chance with me, it’s you. Back the fuck up off me.” I said as I stepped down on his foot with my four inch heel. He howled and limped off. I turned back to him. Before he could speak, I held up my hand.

“Come with me” and I yanked him off of the dance floor to a side hallway. I let him go.

“Okay, explain.”

“Sweetheart I’m sorry. After dinner, everyone wanted to go out for drinks so I decided to go with. I called you to meet me here and when I saw you, I thought you did..”

“Really? You expect me to believe that shit?”

Not missing a beat, he smirked. “Check your phone.”

I huffed and pulled my phone out of my wallet. Sure enough there was a text and a missed call from him.

Asshole.

“See? Nothing nefarious, just drinks.”

“And who was blondie all over you?” I had to know. I know he wouldn’t do anything but I wanted to at least know the name of the woman I’m gonna beat down in the parking lot.

“Director’s girlfriend. Please don’t beat her down in the parking lot.”

I had to laugh; the man knows me so well. He pulled me closer to him.

“I’m sorry baby, I really am. Come on, dance with me and let me make it up to you.”

I couldn’t help it, I grabbed the tie again and kissed him. I felt his hands on the small of my back and my ass pulling me in. Once we came up for air, he looked me up and down in that eyefucking way he does.

“Where did you get this dress?”

“This old thing?” It was a short, silver fitted dress with the back out.

“If it’s so old, you won’t mind me ripping it off of you.”

I was about to make a smart remark when I heard my song “Freakum Dress” playing.

“Come on; show me what you got.” I yanked him back out to the dance floor.

When you put it on it’s an invitation, when they play your get on up and shake it

I was dancing in front of him facing my girls who didn’t seem to mind to new addition to our group.

Work it on you man you don’t have to waste it

Spin it all around and take it to the ground…

His hands slipped to my hips and I bent forward, shaking my ass directly onto him. Then I dropped it low and slowly brought it back up. He pulled me closer and I felt his lips on my ear.

“You keep that up and we’re giving this entire club a show.” He smacked my ass which elicited a gasp. My girls saw the whole exchange. Didi cheered while Tasha yelled out.

“GET YO MAN GIRL.”

“WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?” She shook her head.

Pulling me toward her, she whispered to me.“Don’t worry about us; go and break that man off and make me a niece or nephew. Because if his dancing is any indication, he’s gonna blow your back out and knock you up twice in one night.” I hugged my girls, who all said just about the same thing and turned back to my gorgeous man.

“Come on handsome, let’s go home.” I said as I got closer to him. “You got some making up to do.”

He grabbed my hand. “Yes ma’am.”

Ladies when you been with your man for a long time

Every now and then you got to in the back of that closet and pull out that freakum dress

I got my freakum dress on….